Thank you for this powerful and validating piece as we walk these halls of insanity. Recently, I have found myself yearning for an apology for everything that has happened that I have tried to warn loved ones about before it affected them. For many of us, this has been rinse and repeat for 2+ years. I know this apology will never come, but there is a place in my heart that needs it to ever have intimacy of relationship with so many ever again. That said, I know I will be waiting forever.
Those with Sentinel Intelligence would LOVE to be wrong about everything that we have said would happen, and continually has happened during this pandemic. We journal about that wish, we talk to our therapists about it, we wake up with the fantasy of having to apologize to everyone we know as a way of finally being about to move on from this nightmare. Egg on our face, all of it, gladly to erase what we know humanity is capable of, and provide an answer to how we’ll be able to trust our community again, our family, and what’s left of our friends.
As stated, this intense caring we carry is a curse. It is also, as stated, our superpower. Where we go from this point, I find to be the next biggest challenge in a sea of big challenges.
Ceasing to continue warnings about the perils ahead and currently with us seems unkind, but at what point is that constant outpouring effort being unreceived become not being kind to ourselves?  I’m not sure, but I also know that many of us would drop everything to help someone who really needs help navigating the current moment, however much they’ve been denying it along the way and have hurt us in their efforts. It’s what we do. Bravo, Cassandras.
I can’t count how many times I have said, “I hope I am wrong” in the past when predicting what would happen. No one has wanted to hear (or currently wants to hear) what has been so obvious from the beginning of the current pandemic, if we follow the scientists and healthcare personnel (physicians, nurses, etc). It is absolutely exhausting witnessing the collective ignoring of danger.
I never knew that there was a term for this, sentinel intelligence. I have a lot of that because I spend my time at work putting out fires before they ever start. Thanks!
Remarkable. Thank you. I've always chafed at the idea that my anxiety prone mind is *hyper-vigilant*. After decades of experience I can see that a *sentinel mind* is a much more accurate description of my ability to see what's coming before others. I'm currently reading Octavia Butler's 1993 novel The Parable of the Sower. In Butler's dystopian future the lead character, Lauren Olamina, fits your description of a sentinel mind perfectly.
Learning about sentinel intelligence has certainly helped me come to grips with the last few years. I'm glad it can give you a little peace of mind, too.
It certainly did. Thank you. Now I'm wondering, which came first? The sentinel intelligence or the anxiety issues. Being a Cassandra would be the perfect setup for acquiring anxious behaviors later in life.
The reality are the signs are all around us. E.g. One "great" financial analyst contacted FedEx for their shipping numbers to help predict what would happen. He was wickedly accurate, now he has lost his luster some probably not realizing he needs to pull together multiple data points now (UPS + Fex + Amazon).
As a person who has a partner who has a horse business (woman-led of course!), are raw input over the past 7 years have doubled. So look at food prices, from 2018, and realize that until 2025 expect those numbers to match what we have observed.
I know this will drive Jessica nuts (not trying to be mean or a divisive trigger) but on our horse farm we consume 10-25K gallons of water a month. The Volume of grain we go through is in the order of up to 2 tons a month, so volumes allow me to see patterns. This is how I made my predictions that food prices were going to spike in 2021-2023 massively. I stated this in 2018, when there were talks about ethical farming California.
I was a male Cassandra, or better yet, the feminine spirit within my CIS-male body was very strong :) in it's prediction.
What is next? More food inflation, and what I also told people to be prepared for .... the fact that interest will exceed our military expenditures. We will continue to print away (money) so folks will be the walking poor and our business folks are going to bitch up a storm.
Huh, they are going to complain about dropped productivity. Why? Because folks have been strapped financially so long no matter how good they make the work place it will come down to what every extra money they can get (job be damned) "and" there are not enough Gen X and mature Gen Y to drive the economy as the other large hunk of boomers retire.
So lack of labor will drive up the cost of goods and services since it is 30% of the cost on average. That will need to probably double too.
No one will talk about it, but the signs are in the air ... and everywhere .
If we go back to infectious disease when we stop giving $0 vaccines, people will work sick and spread even more deadily stuff which will make people sicker and less productive.
Don't believe me? Look at what may finally stop China's growth. We have our mad disgusting sick bugs floating in America and what gets incubated in China I am sure will be special ... mix the two "hello" mad max.
How did I get my sanity back? I stepped away from social media. Read my news and stear clear of dumb people and only embrace the smart. Care to guess which bucket Jessica is in :)
I'm not going to begrudge someone a couple of horses at this point. You're right, the Fed has been so far behind the ball on these problems, it's ridiculous. They're just now starting to acknowledge the impact of Covid deaths and chronic illness on the labor market and inflation. Just wait until it finally dawns on them that *we* were the ones that constantly forced China into lockdown for the last two years, because we couldn't get our act together. We drove their citizens half-insane. They couldn't take it anymore, and now the world's factory is falling apart.
Totally get it. If I had the resources, water retention and wells would be had … but ag life is brutal AF.
China shouldn’t be the world’s manufacturing only hub, but it can be one of which since making parts that get shipped on diesel boats to be build in Mexico to trucked in (diesel) for consumption in America.
I saw with Carbon foot print the shipping of goods exceeds the USA foot print. Which is messed up, and then as you point out transmission of bugs … ugh
I remember researching before a comment that the net-net carbon output for shipping was greater then the USA's carbon foot print.
So there was no such thing as a free lunch, maybe if the ships were nuclear powered, then sure it would be a win-win, but then we would have the issues with terrorism and what not.
telelad - Great post. Once you catch on the evidence just washes over you on a daily basis. The mainscream seems to take all this on a 'blip on the screen' basis but there are certainly some deadly serious problems happening here.
Yes, that's the way it feels to have a conversation with someone who has plans for 2 or 5 or 10 years out and who has no absolutely no idea (or no interest) in what's coming. It IS a curse to have to smile and say "that sounds nice" because otherwise I'm called Debby Downer or worse. It's a kind of like cognitive dissonance but trying to convince people otherwise doesn't work either because of normalcy bias and so I just give up and try to live in the moment. Initially I looked at seeing the future as a gift and an opportunity to share my wisdom. But I recently realized that people are how they are and all I can do is to make sure me and my family are prepared for the future that no one else is able to see.
I would never claim to be one of those extraordinary beings. But I do believe we all have some sentient intelligence i n us. When I was a young lawyer in a big Los Angeles firm, I and the partner above me were sent to San Diego for a huge bankruptcy hearing involving 25 or 30 of LA's biggest firms. When I met the partner before leaving for the airport, a really strange but undeniable feeling came over me, and I told the partner I was not getting on the plane. He first mocked me and then scolded me, but I told him he could fire me, but I was not getting on that plane. For whatever reason, he decided to not get on the plane also. I'm sure you've anticipated what happened. The plane crashed while attempting to land in San Diego, and everyone on the plane was killed, including 20 or so of LA's most distinguished lawyers. I will always trust that strange feeling.
Remarkable. That forewarning, wherever it comes from... I get that precognition sometimes. So easy to dismiss in the moment as rational thought kicks in. Glad you took heed.
This is all very interesting (and I’m saving the linked articles to read in full later) but man, I really hope the Sentinel Intelligence concept doesn’t leak into the mainstream. I can already picture the YouTube thumbnails of some “guru” identifying themselves as a Sentinel. The TikTok influencers convincing a bunch of 15-year-olds that they, too, can level up their Sentinel Intelligence for a monthly payment of $19.99. And if the evangelists get a word of this... *shudders*.
Conspiracy theorists already present themselves as having this thought process, anyway (and thank you for clearing up that distinction, by the way). I’m just tired of people using new terms to distinguish them and their followers as the Chosen Ones, who are so much smarter and more special than those evil normies. Which I don’t think you’re doing with this newsletter, at all. But 99% of the time someone’s gonna bastardize this knowledge to make a buck, and that means encouraging the delusions of grandeur that got us into these messes in the first place.
I’m not claiming to have sentinel intelligence because that’s something I’d need a legit researcher to confirm. But I’m a fairly cautious and risk-averse person. Something the pandemic ruined for me is that all of the things I thought I’d actually get to enjoy - all of the things that meant my caution paid off - didn’t exist. I didn’t get rewarded for my long-term thinking. The things I’d been working toward because I kept my eyes on the future? The things I’d given up short-term pleasure for because I could see, so clearly, it was better to wait? Gone! Actively thwarted!
And it’s hard to explain how devastating that was. Emotionally, spiritually, psychologically - all of it, my entire mind was bruised. I felt stupid for being cautious. I felt like all those years of patience and paranoia were for nothing. Because they were. And now, I look to the future and see nothing but dread and disaster on the horizon. And it *does* make it harder to keep doing the right thing in the here and now. Everyone else gets to throw caution to the wind and have their lives go back to normal. Everyone else gets to be optimistic. Why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t I do whatever I want before life gets worse again?
There are rational answers to that, of course: I can’t live the life I want if I catch Long COVID, I can’t actually turn off my pessimism and mild health anxiety, can’t party if I’m dead blah blah. But those rational answers aren’t very satisfying and idk if they’re enough to keep me going in the long run.
I feel you. If I lived alone, I'd already have succumbed and said "Ah, screw it!" I have a young daughter and a frail elderly father to protect, so I don't get to do that.
I'm trying to find comfort in the fact that I am, in fact, actually enjoying some of the things I've given up my short-term pleasure for. For example, the freedom from respiratory disease. I remember what it was like to get one respiratory germ after another, every damn winter (daycare germs are fun). No more. Masks are great. Those people partying it up? You only hear about the parties and the fun. You don't hear about the high fevers, the doctor calls, the frantic search for medications, the bed rest (or, in the case of the parents of small children, the inability to get the bed rest you need because you need to take care of your sick child). Most of my partying relatives have already had COVID at least twice, some more than twice. But they don't post sickbed photos on Facebook.
Also, as someone who had terrible pregnancy fatigue when I was pregnant, I am greatly enjoying the freedom from chronic fatigue. I remember what hell it was. I couldn't work. I couldn't socialize. I lived for the moment when I would finally get to lie down. Thankfully, it was pregnancy related and resolved at the end of my first trimester - but living a whole lifetime like that? Yikes. And no one would post photos of an exhausted semi-corpse in bed on Facebook either.
Very true! Everyone posts the highlight reel online (and COVID deniers don’t change their convictions until they’re on death’s door, so...)
Colds are very scary now. Before if I had have a loved one get sick I’d hope they got better within the week, and it was nothing some NyQuil and a few good naps couldn’t fix. Now? Immediate panic that it’s the big one and we’ll have to find a hospital bed. Even when it turns out to just be a cold - the panic is there.
And even saying all that, even though I know protecting my health is good - the freedom from respiratory disease is so abstract! It feels like celebrating the absence of something that might not even happen. Whereas the things I have to talk myself out of doing are very concrete. And it’s a weird philosophical place to be in all the time. It feels like my sense of logic is constantly fistfighting the simple part of my brain that just wants the dopamine hit. I’m a young adult without kids, so I don’t have a caretaking drive to override this. I’m not religious, either, so I don’t even get the feel-good hit of sacrificing for a higher power.
Rationality is hanging on for dear life right now. Sure the ability to breathe is nice but seeing my favorite band in a stadium concert this summer would feel even better! It’s all very bizarre. I did not need these new neuroses. My old ones were more than enough to handle (and are still alive and kicking).
I hope you and your family continue to stay in good health!
I second finding things that you enjoy, rather than focus on things you can't do. I totally get the desire to see live music. I was a musician before COVID hit, and the lack of performing is hitting me hard; that one hurts. But I'm trying to focus on other things these days. I took up painting as my pandemic hobby; never painted before, but it turned out I love it. I paint little cutesy animals and birds; maybe they're awful and maybe I have no talent, but it makes me happy to look at them.
Sometimes, all we can do is accept the constraints on our life and look for the joy within its limitations.
Can you find some activities that you enjoy doing and focus on those?
My husband and I need to lose weight for health reasons and decided to try Keto. (Still not sure what I think of it) Leading up to this, he wanted me to list every one of meals that he liked that he wouldn't be able to eat, so he could decide if it was worth it. Instead, I prepared foods that he liked that were Keto friendly. So I could say, you'll be able to eat this.
I thought that when I retired I would do an around the world trip and be able to visit amazing places. I'm choosing not to do so for environmental reasons. Instead we a focusing on traveling by bicycle. When we retire we want to do a transcontinental ride. We may or may not be in health for it, but we are definitely looking forward to it and enjoying the rides around our area in the meantime.
I still lament not being able to go to Peru, but having something else to look towards helps.
I started learning how to bake over the fall; I’ve decided that will be my main 2023 hobby. It doesn’t calm me but it does make me feel very accomplished. So that’s something that makes me happy and doesn’t require the outside; same with knitting, which was my original pandemic hobby.
I know exactly one person who does Keto, also for health reasons; to my understanding she alters between doing it very strictly and easing out of it. And I have a mental list of foods I’d be able to enjoy as a vegetarian, if the economy/ethics ever forces me to make that shift. Oreos are at the top of that list.
Traveling by bicycle sounds like great fun. My parents got electric bikes to help them travel longer distances, and they adore them! A transcontinental Amtrak ride is on my wishlist to save up for, since trains seem to be (generally) more sanitary than planes.
I hope you get to take your train trip. I'm not sure how trains stack up against planes in terms of cleanliness, becuase the length of time you are on them is much longer. (Although they do have better circulation.) We did a month long train trip about 5 years ago and it was amazing.
We are cutting back on our meat, but aren't all the way to vegetarian yet.
If you'd be up for a zoom knitting session, let me know.
My question is; how do we get some "sentinal intelligences" into positions of power in order to change things in the right way. Some people will say I am talking about a dictatorship or oligarchy. Call it anything you want but we have to get things under the management of people who can think.
Right now we are under a tyranny of the most brainless people. This is leading us to destruction.
It's a good question. In the long run, I know what we should do. In the short run, we have to educate and inform and disrupt. Is it enough? Not sure. I think we know a lot of destruction is already locked in at this point. Look at what's happening in China.
It's very hard to change the leadership though...because if you actually have empathy you won't be willing to do the things required to get to that level. Seems to be humanity's curse throughout history. Like they ruin it for the rest of us.
Interesting article. There may be something even more basic here, though. Our society does not value wise people, especially WOMEN. Women over 40 become invisible to our society just when we've built life skills, and raised kids and our consciousness. I'm tired to trying to tell people things I know to be frankly ignored. Divorced the husband that did that. We call wise and gentle men "wimps" and worse. We listen to know-nothing bullies...sigh
In spring of 2020 I lived in an inner urban center of a major CDN city. My home office window looked out on a busy intersection that one corner of housed a large middle school. I was still working thanks to being a productive bee with keys to the entire corporate vehicle. 14 other team members at that time are at home receiving government pay to hold down the collective SARs fort.
One morning in that May of 2020 I'm on the phone with a long time friend and business person. I'm looking out my window at what was always a busy corner. 9am no kids lined up at the crosswalk. Barely a car entering the intersection. I describe it. They know where I live.
I said it is "eerily apocolyptic"
They dodge the reality and right back to "well the Government is opening up the eligibility for loans and cash injections for small business"
Mixed bag of chit chat then in the middle of a financial rant I say it
"Capitalism will not survive after this"
- I dunno.
- Huh well it has to get back to normal
I uttered those words to several close friends. Nobody wanted to hear it.
Here I am now. FAR from the busy urban life. Relocated myself and family to a very rural setting on the other end of the country. Isolation and pulling back from the rat race. Cashing out on capitalism (sold my house to a greater fool so to speak)
Because. Inside the Covid Trojan horse was a massive change that is occurring.
People reading this blog have had glimpses of it in our dreams, in our reading and in our hearts.
Capitalism may not be dead. But I made the call. That is what is important.
Jessica please continue to write this amazing blog. Your message is out there and it is reflective of the change that is occurring.
(I sent you an email once about utilizing other media.... :) :) :) :)...just saying )
“Capitalism will not survive after this” is a good way to think of it. The big question is ultimately whether capitalism will die quietly; will it be as swift and seamless as it reasonably can? Or will it be a long and hideous death, with billions sacrificed to keep capitalism on a failing ventilator?
I’m glad your family relocated when you were able, and I hope it stays a calm, sustainable situation for you all.
Thank you for naming the 500 lb gorilla in the room! We can trace the worst of catastrophic denialism to the "C" word. Let's say it again - Capitalism!
Thanks for taking action! Let's work hard to achieve Rosa Luxemburg's alternative to barbarism.
I’ve wondered about the aversion to admitting being wrong, which is definitely real. I think that, in addition to all the other psychological and emotional reasons that people don’t want to admit they’re wrong, there is likely a perception that, if one is marked out as wrong, one’s social standing will diminish in ways that could be grievous, along a continuum of not being taken seriously to not being trusted at all, which leads logically to ostracism, disproportionate or unfair reprisals, or one’s decreased ability to survive from the subordinate position in which one can forecast being placed when one’s judgment is in doubt. The thing to be avoided, in other words, is getting one’s blood in the water. Even if the fear of that happening is irrational (I’m not sure it necessarily is), that adds to and complicates the motive to deny being wrong.
So, the problem of not admitting being wrong has a political component, which requires an enlightened response from those who are wrong and also those pointing out the being wrong. As I said, this response is not necessarily forthcoming, partly because the focus is generally on the person who is wrong and the responsibility to own that, rather than on the social consequences, which imply intellectual and moral responsibilities on the part of those to whom a wrong perception, assessment, etc. is directed.
I'm not sure that at this point, the COVID thing is about "sentinel intelligence". It's not about predicting the future - it's about seeing the present.
I think it's more of a "substition" (as defined by Terry Pratchett). If a superstition is a belief in something that is not true that everyone accepts, a substition is a belief in something that is utterly true that nobody accepts. Apparently, I am highly substitious, and most of the folks around me are not. I intend to remain substitious.
I've been thinking a lot about how important it is for us to admit we were wrong in many ways and how hard it is for some people to do it. I just watched DamNation (2014) about taking out dams. We thought we knew better and we were wrong. Slowly, with much struggle, the dams are coming down. I also have been thinking of Otto Scharmer's statement, "We collectively create results that nobody wants." Yet so many don't see this. Sentinel intelligence is indeed a blessing and a curse. Thanks for another edifying piece.
I have only just discovered your work and this is the first post I have read. And, you have written something which I deeply resonate with. I discovered only a couple of years ago that I am a Highly Sensitive Person (work of Psychologist Elaine Aron) and it sounds very similar (if not the same) as Sentinel Intelligence. It's interesting to think how high sensitivity likely developed and evolved with nomadic groups of people needing someone within the clan to provide early warning signs of danger. Aron writes in her book that the world needs us and this has never been more true. It is so hard every day seeing how obvious the danger is and then how everyone around you appears oblivious. Thank you for the reminder that we have a purpose driven by compassion. We have a job to do! I look forward to binge reading your other posts!!!
Thank you for this powerful and validating piece as we walk these halls of insanity. Recently, I have found myself yearning for an apology for everything that has happened that I have tried to warn loved ones about before it affected them. For many of us, this has been rinse and repeat for 2+ years. I know this apology will never come, but there is a place in my heart that needs it to ever have intimacy of relationship with so many ever again. That said, I know I will be waiting forever.
Those with Sentinel Intelligence would LOVE to be wrong about everything that we have said would happen, and continually has happened during this pandemic. We journal about that wish, we talk to our therapists about it, we wake up with the fantasy of having to apologize to everyone we know as a way of finally being about to move on from this nightmare. Egg on our face, all of it, gladly to erase what we know humanity is capable of, and provide an answer to how we’ll be able to trust our community again, our family, and what’s left of our friends.
As stated, this intense caring we carry is a curse. It is also, as stated, our superpower. Where we go from this point, I find to be the next biggest challenge in a sea of big challenges.
Ceasing to continue warnings about the perils ahead and currently with us seems unkind, but at what point is that constant outpouring effort being unreceived become not being kind to ourselves?  I’m not sure, but I also know that many of us would drop everything to help someone who really needs help navigating the current moment, however much they’ve been denying it along the way and have hurt us in their efforts. It’s what we do. Bravo, Cassandras.
Well said. In the absence of an apology, we have solidarity at least.
I can’t count how many times I have said, “I hope I am wrong” in the past when predicting what would happen. No one has wanted to hear (or currently wants to hear) what has been so obvious from the beginning of the current pandemic, if we follow the scientists and healthcare personnel (physicians, nurses, etc). It is absolutely exhausting witnessing the collective ignoring of danger.
What danger exactly?
I never knew that there was a term for this, sentinel intelligence. I have a lot of that because I spend my time at work putting out fires before they ever start. Thanks!
Yeah, your friendly neighborhood sentinel!
Remarkable. Thank you. I've always chafed at the idea that my anxiety prone mind is *hyper-vigilant*. After decades of experience I can see that a *sentinel mind* is a much more accurate description of my ability to see what's coming before others. I'm currently reading Octavia Butler's 1993 novel The Parable of the Sower. In Butler's dystopian future the lead character, Lauren Olamina, fits your description of a sentinel mind perfectly.
Learning about sentinel intelligence has certainly helped me come to grips with the last few years. I'm glad it can give you a little peace of mind, too.
It certainly did. Thank you. Now I'm wondering, which came first? The sentinel intelligence or the anxiety issues. Being a Cassandra would be the perfect setup for acquiring anxious behaviors later in life.
I keep hearing of those books - thanks for the mention.
Oh god I had no idea how much I needed to read this today, thank you 🙏❤️
Glad you got what you needed!
The reality are the signs are all around us. E.g. One "great" financial analyst contacted FedEx for their shipping numbers to help predict what would happen. He was wickedly accurate, now he has lost his luster some probably not realizing he needs to pull together multiple data points now (UPS + Fex + Amazon).
As a person who has a partner who has a horse business (woman-led of course!), are raw input over the past 7 years have doubled. So look at food prices, from 2018, and realize that until 2025 expect those numbers to match what we have observed.
I know this will drive Jessica nuts (not trying to be mean or a divisive trigger) but on our horse farm we consume 10-25K gallons of water a month. The Volume of grain we go through is in the order of up to 2 tons a month, so volumes allow me to see patterns. This is how I made my predictions that food prices were going to spike in 2021-2023 massively. I stated this in 2018, when there were talks about ethical farming California.
I was a male Cassandra, or better yet, the feminine spirit within my CIS-male body was very strong :) in it's prediction.
What is next? More food inflation, and what I also told people to be prepared for .... the fact that interest will exceed our military expenditures. We will continue to print away (money) so folks will be the walking poor and our business folks are going to bitch up a storm.
Huh, they are going to complain about dropped productivity. Why? Because folks have been strapped financially so long no matter how good they make the work place it will come down to what every extra money they can get (job be damned) "and" there are not enough Gen X and mature Gen Y to drive the economy as the other large hunk of boomers retire.
So lack of labor will drive up the cost of goods and services since it is 30% of the cost on average. That will need to probably double too.
No one will talk about it, but the signs are in the air ... and everywhere .
If we go back to infectious disease when we stop giving $0 vaccines, people will work sick and spread even more deadily stuff which will make people sicker and less productive.
Don't believe me? Look at what may finally stop China's growth. We have our mad disgusting sick bugs floating in America and what gets incubated in China I am sure will be special ... mix the two "hello" mad max.
How did I get my sanity back? I stepped away from social media. Read my news and stear clear of dumb people and only embrace the smart. Care to guess which bucket Jessica is in :)
I'm not going to begrudge someone a couple of horses at this point. You're right, the Fed has been so far behind the ball on these problems, it's ridiculous. They're just now starting to acknowledge the impact of Covid deaths and chronic illness on the labor market and inflation. Just wait until it finally dawns on them that *we* were the ones that constantly forced China into lockdown for the last two years, because we couldn't get our act together. We drove their citizens half-insane. They couldn't take it anymore, and now the world's factory is falling apart.
Totally get it. If I had the resources, water retention and wells would be had … but ag life is brutal AF.
China shouldn’t be the world’s manufacturing only hub, but it can be one of which since making parts that get shipped on diesel boats to be build in Mexico to trucked in (diesel) for consumption in America.
I saw with Carbon foot print the shipping of goods exceeds the USA foot print. Which is messed up, and then as you point out transmission of bugs … ugh
I remember researching before a comment that the net-net carbon output for shipping was greater then the USA's carbon foot print.
So there was no such thing as a free lunch, maybe if the ships were nuclear powered, then sure it would be a win-win, but then we would have the issues with terrorism and what not.
Jessica, how did 'we' force China into lockdown for the last two years?
telelad - Great post. Once you catch on the evidence just washes over you on a daily basis. The mainscream seems to take all this on a 'blip on the screen' basis but there are certainly some deadly serious problems happening here.
Thanks! I appreciate the feedback.
Yes, that's the way it feels to have a conversation with someone who has plans for 2 or 5 or 10 years out and who has no absolutely no idea (or no interest) in what's coming. It IS a curse to have to smile and say "that sounds nice" because otherwise I'm called Debby Downer or worse. It's a kind of like cognitive dissonance but trying to convince people otherwise doesn't work either because of normalcy bias and so I just give up and try to live in the moment. Initially I looked at seeing the future as a gift and an opportunity to share my wisdom. But I recently realized that people are how they are and all I can do is to make sure me and my family are prepared for the future that no one else is able to see.
Yeah, we lead by example. I've learned how to talk to some people and reveal just enough about what I know to get the cooperation we need.
I would never claim to be one of those extraordinary beings. But I do believe we all have some sentient intelligence i n us. When I was a young lawyer in a big Los Angeles firm, I and the partner above me were sent to San Diego for a huge bankruptcy hearing involving 25 or 30 of LA's biggest firms. When I met the partner before leaving for the airport, a really strange but undeniable feeling came over me, and I told the partner I was not getting on the plane. He first mocked me and then scolded me, but I told him he could fire me, but I was not getting on that plane. For whatever reason, he decided to not get on the plane also. I'm sure you've anticipated what happened. The plane crashed while attempting to land in San Diego, and everyone on the plane was killed, including 20 or so of LA's most distinguished lawyers. I will always trust that strange feeling.
Remarkable. That forewarning, wherever it comes from... I get that precognition sometimes. So easy to dismiss in the moment as rational thought kicks in. Glad you took heed.
This is all very interesting (and I’m saving the linked articles to read in full later) but man, I really hope the Sentinel Intelligence concept doesn’t leak into the mainstream. I can already picture the YouTube thumbnails of some “guru” identifying themselves as a Sentinel. The TikTok influencers convincing a bunch of 15-year-olds that they, too, can level up their Sentinel Intelligence for a monthly payment of $19.99. And if the evangelists get a word of this... *shudders*.
Conspiracy theorists already present themselves as having this thought process, anyway (and thank you for clearing up that distinction, by the way). I’m just tired of people using new terms to distinguish them and their followers as the Chosen Ones, who are so much smarter and more special than those evil normies. Which I don’t think you’re doing with this newsletter, at all. But 99% of the time someone’s gonna bastardize this knowledge to make a buck, and that means encouraging the delusions of grandeur that got us into these messes in the first place.
I’m not claiming to have sentinel intelligence because that’s something I’d need a legit researcher to confirm. But I’m a fairly cautious and risk-averse person. Something the pandemic ruined for me is that all of the things I thought I’d actually get to enjoy - all of the things that meant my caution paid off - didn’t exist. I didn’t get rewarded for my long-term thinking. The things I’d been working toward because I kept my eyes on the future? The things I’d given up short-term pleasure for because I could see, so clearly, it was better to wait? Gone! Actively thwarted!
And it’s hard to explain how devastating that was. Emotionally, spiritually, psychologically - all of it, my entire mind was bruised. I felt stupid for being cautious. I felt like all those years of patience and paranoia were for nothing. Because they were. And now, I look to the future and see nothing but dread and disaster on the horizon. And it *does* make it harder to keep doing the right thing in the here and now. Everyone else gets to throw caution to the wind and have their lives go back to normal. Everyone else gets to be optimistic. Why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t I do whatever I want before life gets worse again?
There are rational answers to that, of course: I can’t live the life I want if I catch Long COVID, I can’t actually turn off my pessimism and mild health anxiety, can’t party if I’m dead blah blah. But those rational answers aren’t very satisfying and idk if they’re enough to keep me going in the long run.
I feel you. If I lived alone, I'd already have succumbed and said "Ah, screw it!" I have a young daughter and a frail elderly father to protect, so I don't get to do that.
I'm trying to find comfort in the fact that I am, in fact, actually enjoying some of the things I've given up my short-term pleasure for. For example, the freedom from respiratory disease. I remember what it was like to get one respiratory germ after another, every damn winter (daycare germs are fun). No more. Masks are great. Those people partying it up? You only hear about the parties and the fun. You don't hear about the high fevers, the doctor calls, the frantic search for medications, the bed rest (or, in the case of the parents of small children, the inability to get the bed rest you need because you need to take care of your sick child). Most of my partying relatives have already had COVID at least twice, some more than twice. But they don't post sickbed photos on Facebook.
Also, as someone who had terrible pregnancy fatigue when I was pregnant, I am greatly enjoying the freedom from chronic fatigue. I remember what hell it was. I couldn't work. I couldn't socialize. I lived for the moment when I would finally get to lie down. Thankfully, it was pregnancy related and resolved at the end of my first trimester - but living a whole lifetime like that? Yikes. And no one would post photos of an exhausted semi-corpse in bed on Facebook either.
Very true! Everyone posts the highlight reel online (and COVID deniers don’t change their convictions until they’re on death’s door, so...)
Colds are very scary now. Before if I had have a loved one get sick I’d hope they got better within the week, and it was nothing some NyQuil and a few good naps couldn’t fix. Now? Immediate panic that it’s the big one and we’ll have to find a hospital bed. Even when it turns out to just be a cold - the panic is there.
And even saying all that, even though I know protecting my health is good - the freedom from respiratory disease is so abstract! It feels like celebrating the absence of something that might not even happen. Whereas the things I have to talk myself out of doing are very concrete. And it’s a weird philosophical place to be in all the time. It feels like my sense of logic is constantly fistfighting the simple part of my brain that just wants the dopamine hit. I’m a young adult without kids, so I don’t have a caretaking drive to override this. I’m not religious, either, so I don’t even get the feel-good hit of sacrificing for a higher power.
Rationality is hanging on for dear life right now. Sure the ability to breathe is nice but seeing my favorite band in a stadium concert this summer would feel even better! It’s all very bizarre. I did not need these new neuroses. My old ones were more than enough to handle (and are still alive and kicking).
I hope you and your family continue to stay in good health!
I second finding things that you enjoy, rather than focus on things you can't do. I totally get the desire to see live music. I was a musician before COVID hit, and the lack of performing is hitting me hard; that one hurts. But I'm trying to focus on other things these days. I took up painting as my pandemic hobby; never painted before, but it turned out I love it. I paint little cutesy animals and birds; maybe they're awful and maybe I have no talent, but it makes me happy to look at them.
Sometimes, all we can do is accept the constraints on our life and look for the joy within its limitations.
Can you find some activities that you enjoy doing and focus on those?
My husband and I need to lose weight for health reasons and decided to try Keto. (Still not sure what I think of it) Leading up to this, he wanted me to list every one of meals that he liked that he wouldn't be able to eat, so he could decide if it was worth it. Instead, I prepared foods that he liked that were Keto friendly. So I could say, you'll be able to eat this.
I thought that when I retired I would do an around the world trip and be able to visit amazing places. I'm choosing not to do so for environmental reasons. Instead we a focusing on traveling by bicycle. When we retire we want to do a transcontinental ride. We may or may not be in health for it, but we are definitely looking forward to it and enjoying the rides around our area in the meantime.
I still lament not being able to go to Peru, but having something else to look towards helps.
I started learning how to bake over the fall; I’ve decided that will be my main 2023 hobby. It doesn’t calm me but it does make me feel very accomplished. So that’s something that makes me happy and doesn’t require the outside; same with knitting, which was my original pandemic hobby.
I know exactly one person who does Keto, also for health reasons; to my understanding she alters between doing it very strictly and easing out of it. And I have a mental list of foods I’d be able to enjoy as a vegetarian, if the economy/ethics ever forces me to make that shift. Oreos are at the top of that list.
Traveling by bicycle sounds like great fun. My parents got electric bikes to help them travel longer distances, and they adore them! A transcontinental Amtrak ride is on my wishlist to save up for, since trains seem to be (generally) more sanitary than planes.
I hope you get to take your train trip. I'm not sure how trains stack up against planes in terms of cleanliness, becuase the length of time you are on them is much longer. (Although they do have better circulation.) We did a month long train trip about 5 years ago and it was amazing.
We are cutting back on our meat, but aren't all the way to vegetarian yet.
If you'd be up for a zoom knitting session, let me know.
My question is; how do we get some "sentinal intelligences" into positions of power in order to change things in the right way. Some people will say I am talking about a dictatorship or oligarchy. Call it anything you want but we have to get things under the management of people who can think.
Right now we are under a tyranny of the most brainless people. This is leading us to destruction.
It's a good question. In the long run, I know what we should do. In the short run, we have to educate and inform and disrupt. Is it enough? Not sure. I think we know a lot of destruction is already locked in at this point. Look at what's happening in China.
It's very hard to change the leadership though...because if you actually have empathy you won't be willing to do the things required to get to that level. Seems to be humanity's curse throughout history. Like they ruin it for the rest of us.
Interesting article. There may be something even more basic here, though. Our society does not value wise people, especially WOMEN. Women over 40 become invisible to our society just when we've built life skills, and raised kids and our consciousness. I'm tired to trying to tell people things I know to be frankly ignored. Divorced the husband that did that. We call wise and gentle men "wimps" and worse. We listen to know-nothing bullies...sigh
I just listened to the We Were Three podcast and they mention that. All the women took precautions; the men didn't and suffered the consequences.
Validating read.
In spring of 2020 I lived in an inner urban center of a major CDN city. My home office window looked out on a busy intersection that one corner of housed a large middle school. I was still working thanks to being a productive bee with keys to the entire corporate vehicle. 14 other team members at that time are at home receiving government pay to hold down the collective SARs fort.
One morning in that May of 2020 I'm on the phone with a long time friend and business person. I'm looking out my window at what was always a busy corner. 9am no kids lined up at the crosswalk. Barely a car entering the intersection. I describe it. They know where I live.
I said it is "eerily apocolyptic"
They dodge the reality and right back to "well the Government is opening up the eligibility for loans and cash injections for small business"
Mixed bag of chit chat then in the middle of a financial rant I say it
"Capitalism will not survive after this"
- I dunno.
- Huh well it has to get back to normal
I uttered those words to several close friends. Nobody wanted to hear it.
Here I am now. FAR from the busy urban life. Relocated myself and family to a very rural setting on the other end of the country. Isolation and pulling back from the rat race. Cashing out on capitalism (sold my house to a greater fool so to speak)
Because. Inside the Covid Trojan horse was a massive change that is occurring.
People reading this blog have had glimpses of it in our dreams, in our reading and in our hearts.
Capitalism may not be dead. But I made the call. That is what is important.
Jessica please continue to write this amazing blog. Your message is out there and it is reflective of the change that is occurring.
(I sent you an email once about utilizing other media.... :) :) :) :)...just saying )
Be well.
“Capitalism will not survive after this” is a good way to think of it. The big question is ultimately whether capitalism will die quietly; will it be as swift and seamless as it reasonably can? Or will it be a long and hideous death, with billions sacrificed to keep capitalism on a failing ventilator?
I’m glad your family relocated when you were able, and I hope it stays a calm, sustainable situation for you all.
Thank you for naming the 500 lb gorilla in the room! We can trace the worst of catastrophic denialism to the "C" word. Let's say it again - Capitalism!
Thanks for taking action! Let's work hard to achieve Rosa Luxemburg's alternative to barbarism.
I’ve wondered about the aversion to admitting being wrong, which is definitely real. I think that, in addition to all the other psychological and emotional reasons that people don’t want to admit they’re wrong, there is likely a perception that, if one is marked out as wrong, one’s social standing will diminish in ways that could be grievous, along a continuum of not being taken seriously to not being trusted at all, which leads logically to ostracism, disproportionate or unfair reprisals, or one’s decreased ability to survive from the subordinate position in which one can forecast being placed when one’s judgment is in doubt. The thing to be avoided, in other words, is getting one’s blood in the water. Even if the fear of that happening is irrational (I’m not sure it necessarily is), that adds to and complicates the motive to deny being wrong.
So, the problem of not admitting being wrong has a political component, which requires an enlightened response from those who are wrong and also those pointing out the being wrong. As I said, this response is not necessarily forthcoming, partly because the focus is generally on the person who is wrong and the responsibility to own that, rather than on the social consequences, which imply intellectual and moral responsibilities on the part of those to whom a wrong perception, assessment, etc. is directed.
I'm not sure that at this point, the COVID thing is about "sentinel intelligence". It's not about predicting the future - it's about seeing the present.
I think it's more of a "substition" (as defined by Terry Pratchett). If a superstition is a belief in something that is not true that everyone accepts, a substition is a belief in something that is utterly true that nobody accepts. Apparently, I am highly substitious, and most of the folks around me are not. I intend to remain substitious.
I've been thinking a lot about how important it is for us to admit we were wrong in many ways and how hard it is for some people to do it. I just watched DamNation (2014) about taking out dams. We thought we knew better and we were wrong. Slowly, with much struggle, the dams are coming down. I also have been thinking of Otto Scharmer's statement, "We collectively create results that nobody wants." Yet so many don't see this. Sentinel intelligence is indeed a blessing and a curse. Thanks for another edifying piece.
I have only just discovered your work and this is the first post I have read. And, you have written something which I deeply resonate with. I discovered only a couple of years ago that I am a Highly Sensitive Person (work of Psychologist Elaine Aron) and it sounds very similar (if not the same) as Sentinel Intelligence. It's interesting to think how high sensitivity likely developed and evolved with nomadic groups of people needing someone within the clan to provide early warning signs of danger. Aron writes in her book that the world needs us and this has never been more true. It is so hard every day seeing how obvious the danger is and then how everyone around you appears oblivious. Thank you for the reminder that we have a purpose driven by compassion. We have a job to do! I look forward to binge reading your other posts!!!