Oh Jessica, once again you've reached down into a deep place to reveal an essential truth. I suspect this is one of the reasons I've been so consumed with grief. (And why I'm so grateful for those in the CC community who share my values and concerns.)
Another thought: some of us have grown children. In my case, I have a child who could influence C-19 professional policy--but chooses not to. They also make choices on behalf of my grandchildren that put them all (IMO) at great risk.
Not only am I consumed with grief and worry, but I also entertain thoughts of my own failure as a parent. Did I fail to inspire an "intellectual curiosity" that would lead them to critically evaluate our current situation? Did I fail to nurture the self-confidence that would later foster a sense of moral fortitude and the courage to stand out? I suspect I'll never have answers to these questions--and perhaps that's a good thing...
Having to young adult sons I see you and hear you.
My youngest sister tried getting my youngest son to move to Texas. Nothing will repair this. My son has a black girlfriend, smokes pot and speeds. The former 2 I wish was not the case. Moving to Texas could easily land him in jail ( he lives in Massachusetts now) .
I mean how could she ? She lives there but spends all her time flying elsewhere. Michigan, France Christ even Africa on an expensive “ safari “ .
How I could feel my son would be safe is insane! And if she likes it so much why is she leaving all the time ?
Everyone in Massachusetts smokes pot and speeds. The one good thing is that because it’s legal there car insurance doesn’t exclude you for coverage if you have it in your system & have an accident (because you could have used it up to a month ago & it still shows up on tests.)
-I made the mistake of working in diversity, and believing that leaders meant what they said. They are liars.
-I made the mistake of working in public health and believing that everyone would do the right thing to save children, at least the babies and the children. They didn’t.
- I made the mistake of trusting my spouse of 19 yrs to wear a mask. He didn’t. He got covid and gave it to me. Now I have long covid and have had sepsis. I lost my job that was designed to be remote, and with nice people, and the pay was okay.
I don’t forgive my spouse. He basically ruined my life cause he was selfish, and vain.
We have co-existed for 2 yrs. I am too tired to fight for a life that I deserve.
A life where I am not reminded every second of the moral injury I suffer.
Excellent article. I can only mitigate the pain of it all by being 78. Ironically the whole situation has made being near death much easier than i expected. Its a nasty greedy uncaring devious lying world with a disease people pretend doesn't exist and ignore the dying and disabled and a world that is quite happy to keep flying etc etc not realizing or ignoring the fact that it's all going to end in a hell in the next few decades if huge changes are not made more or less immediately. Personally I think it's way too late to stop mankind's extinction.
With respect, many of us stopped trusting long before Covid. Weve experienced disability, toxin exposures, natural disasters, even viral illness that has been psychologized. Covid cautious people might finally be waking up, but you’re “we” isn’t everyone’s “we.”
I learned quickly when I deployed to Afghanistan with a bunch of spoiled Army reservists, who I could trust and who I couldn't. It turned out that I couldn't trust any of them. I had more trust in my Afghan compatriots than I had in my American team members. I never trusted Americans again after that. Now, take a look at the U.S. government. How have they instilled any trust in them? After all of my historical research in the last couple of years, it turns out they were misleading everyone around the world since the end of WWII.
I have lost trust in everyone, everywhere in the United States. There are a lot of nice people but I don't trust their moral compass anymore. This applies to some of my immediate family as well. I have learned to trust no one, except my wife and my dog. Even my wife I have to caution her on certain things as she tends to follow the herd mentality.
This is the new world we live in now. Those of us who see the failures early enough, can adapt and survive. Those who refuse to look around and evaluate their surroundings will not survive. That is the basic law of survival. learn, adapt and overcome, or die.
I've seen how people have behaved through my lifetime and especially through this time, and am left with the feeling our civilization is collapsing just like all others before it.
Whether Socrates, Buddha or Jesus. Inner values begin and end with knowing that you should not trust yourself. That we are lying to ourselves. Nothing makes people stronger and more beautiful than this one realisation and acceptance.
Once we realize and accept this, awareness and mindfulness follow, not the other way around. We become aware that we suppress our own feelings and hence harm ourselves and others - Leo Tolstoy:
Once we realize that we are lying to us and deceiving ourselves - we stop inventing stories or superiority and entitlement and exchange them for a fleeing of self worth and connection with life.
Smart people can do more skillful self lying and have more to lose from being honest to themselves about lying to themselves? Good things in life are not about being smarts or hard work but about the ability to be honest with ourselves?
Adolf Eichmann: "There can be no possible agreement with systems of thought of an international nature, because at bottom these are not true and not honest, but based on a monstrous lie, namely the lie of the equality of all ... beings."
In his mind, Adolf has been telling himself that he is better than all others all his life. He knows this is a lie or he himself would claim that the opposite claim "that life was equal", was a lie. Most of us are like Adolf. We think are better than minorities or livestock animals. Some people think that they are above the risks of BSL 3 viral pandemics.
When it comes to collapse, we discuss all sorts of things except food. We might be energy and transport blind. But we are utterly food senseless? Why? Deep down, 'food' is not real for us. If it were real, we might need to accept that 100% dependent on nature for it and that we are hence only a small part of a vast whole. This is not the leading role movie narrative that self licensing needs to exist and feed one. If we are the main character of our lives, we have a very limited and one dimensional experience of life? Lonely pressure to perform instead of communal pleasure to experience and be a part of it all?
I certainly do not. We are a part of nature. Connected to all life around us. Capitalism and religion have dehumanized us and smothered humans' threat assessment abilities and compassion.
Just wanted to also say I love your work, but our family has been through some tragedies and hardship lately, so please don't take it personally if I can't subscribe again, and it appears my 1 year ran out early via the changes from site to site, and that is completely okay. I got every penny's worth of that year's sub already. i hope you continue to get the support you deserve.
I feel this to my very core. Prior to covid I was aware of many government and institutional failings, but I was hopeful. I feel differently now. Of all I've lost, my trust in medical professionals, especially those leaders tasked with protecting children's health, has been the hardest to process. The (long) covid research is something most specialist medical professionals appear not to be reading: is disturbing to realize how unaware they are, and how little they wish to know. It's made me question if medical programs have somehow prioritized certain skills over empathy, intellectual curiosity, open-mindedness (& intellectual humility), and logic. Horrible.
This is a really important point thank you for writing about it. Unfortunately the term "moral injury" as it is commonly used refers to injury that one does to others, not that one experiences from others. This is an important difference. I have done all I can to keep people aware of the ongoing dangerous SARS-2 pandemic. I use a mask in public to protect myself, to protect others from my possible asymptomatic infection, and also to remind myself and others that this virus is not only still around, but setting records for infections (the recent wave in the US has had more infections at this time of year than any other year). I do not feel responsible for the minimization of this disease done by other people, the government, or corporate interests.
Maybe there's another term for the damage we experience for living in this kind of society, but I don't know it.
The definitions I used refer to both things you've had to do and things you've had to witness, but I focused here on the things we've had to witness and extended the definition to things we've endured. You can take terms and shift the meanings. Academics do it all the time.
Fair enough. Just seems useful to note when extending, no? I do believe these times of extraordinary harms in warfare and in infectious disease warrant new nomenclature.
I never knew using the term “moral injury” had the potential to cause moral injury ;p But in all seriousness, thanks for yet another thought provoking article.
The gaslighting is so deep that I feel like if I share this on social media (as I do so many of your essays), I'd need to apologize to the people who show every day how little they care about me, or each other.
This is why I believe in evil mind-controlling aliens, because believing that humans, especially the ones I know, are really this monstrous is beyond my capacity to cope with. Yes, I’m serious. Interestingly, this is something that is hinted at in various myths over time - but that is well beyond the scope of this comment.
Actually, 1) a strictly physicalist view of reality is a recent development in human history, which 2) is not supported by modern quantum physics research nor 3) most known human cultural beliefs and religious practices, ancient and modern. Also 4) Congress has passed legislation, and has been attempting to pass more legislation for the last few years regarding non-human intelligences (NHI) activities on Earth, 5) in no small part because NHI are a known threat to U.S. national security. A big part of why NHI present a threat is because 6) they do not seem to operate by the known laws of physics, and 7) according to extensive and reliable experiencer testimony, NHI can control human thoughts and actions with terrifying ease.
I am quite thoroughly grounded in reality. The capitalist hell we are all forced to live under does not exclude any of my points above. Clear thinking requires courage, rather than intelligence (Thomas Szasz) so I would suggest that you exercise the courage necessary to expand your understanding of reality.
I came across this today and, of course, thought of you and your work. I noticed missing things, too -- no mention of masks and making prevention as simple as cooking your meat well done.
Oh Jessica, once again you've reached down into a deep place to reveal an essential truth. I suspect this is one of the reasons I've been so consumed with grief. (And why I'm so grateful for those in the CC community who share my values and concerns.)
Another thought: some of us have grown children. In my case, I have a child who could influence C-19 professional policy--but chooses not to. They also make choices on behalf of my grandchildren that put them all (IMO) at great risk.
Not only am I consumed with grief and worry, but I also entertain thoughts of my own failure as a parent. Did I fail to inspire an "intellectual curiosity" that would lead them to critically evaluate our current situation? Did I fail to nurture the self-confidence that would later foster a sense of moral fortitude and the courage to stand out? I suspect I'll never have answers to these questions--and perhaps that's a good thing...
That's a hard situation, and definitely part of the landscape. I suspect if you're writing this comment, you did everything you could.
Having to young adult sons I see you and hear you.
My youngest sister tried getting my youngest son to move to Texas. Nothing will repair this. My son has a black girlfriend, smokes pot and speeds. The former 2 I wish was not the case. Moving to Texas could easily land him in jail ( he lives in Massachusetts now) .
I mean how could she ? She lives there but spends all her time flying elsewhere. Michigan, France Christ even Africa on an expensive “ safari “ .
How I could feel my son would be safe is insane! And if she likes it so much why is she leaving all the time ?
Much mor history obviously goes into this.
Everyone in Massachusetts smokes pot and speeds. The one good thing is that because it’s legal there car insurance doesn’t exclude you for coverage if you have it in your system & have an accident (because you could have used it up to a month ago & it still shows up on tests.)
Yes Massachusetts has a point system on their insurance ( car) the more points the more expensive your insurance.
I have no idea how car insurance works in Texas but I do not feel my son would be safe living there for a multitude of reasons.
Moral Injury.
-I made the mistake of working in diversity, and believing that leaders meant what they said. They are liars.
-I made the mistake of working in public health and believing that everyone would do the right thing to save children, at least the babies and the children. They didn’t.
- I made the mistake of trusting my spouse of 19 yrs to wear a mask. He didn’t. He got covid and gave it to me. Now I have long covid and have had sepsis. I lost my job that was designed to be remote, and with nice people, and the pay was okay.
I don’t forgive my spouse. He basically ruined my life cause he was selfish, and vain.
We have co-existed for 2 yrs. I am too tired to fight for a life that I deserve.
A life where I am not reminded every second of the moral injury I suffer.
"We have co-existed for 2 yrs. I am too tired to fight for a life that I deserve." - felt this so deeply. with you.
Sending a hug of solidarity
I’m so sorry.
I kinda want to have a little “chat” with your spouse.
Excellent article. I can only mitigate the pain of it all by being 78. Ironically the whole situation has made being near death much easier than i expected. Its a nasty greedy uncaring devious lying world with a disease people pretend doesn't exist and ignore the dying and disabled and a world that is quite happy to keep flying etc etc not realizing or ignoring the fact that it's all going to end in a hell in the next few decades if huge changes are not made more or less immediately. Personally I think it's way too late to stop mankind's extinction.
With respect, many of us stopped trusting long before Covid. Weve experienced disability, toxin exposures, natural disasters, even viral illness that has been psychologized. Covid cautious people might finally be waking up, but you’re “we” isn’t everyone’s “we.”
I'm one. I stopped trusting people a long time ago.
I feel this so hard.
I learned quickly when I deployed to Afghanistan with a bunch of spoiled Army reservists, who I could trust and who I couldn't. It turned out that I couldn't trust any of them. I had more trust in my Afghan compatriots than I had in my American team members. I never trusted Americans again after that. Now, take a look at the U.S. government. How have they instilled any trust in them? After all of my historical research in the last couple of years, it turns out they were misleading everyone around the world since the end of WWII.
I have lost trust in everyone, everywhere in the United States. There are a lot of nice people but I don't trust their moral compass anymore. This applies to some of my immediate family as well. I have learned to trust no one, except my wife and my dog. Even my wife I have to caution her on certain things as she tends to follow the herd mentality.
This is the new world we live in now. Those of us who see the failures early enough, can adapt and survive. Those who refuse to look around and evaluate their surroundings will not survive. That is the basic law of survival. learn, adapt and overcome, or die.
🎯
Same page.
I've seen how people have behaved through my lifetime and especially through this time, and am left with the feeling our civilization is collapsing just like all others before it.
I really don't know where to go from here.
Whether Socrates, Buddha or Jesus. Inner values begin and end with knowing that you should not trust yourself. That we are lying to ourselves. Nothing makes people stronger and more beautiful than this one realisation and acceptance.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-licensing
Once we realize and accept this, awareness and mindfulness follow, not the other way around. We become aware that we suppress our own feelings and hence harm ourselves and others - Leo Tolstoy:
https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/14597575-the-first-step-an-essay-on-the-morals-of-diet-to-which-are-added-two-s
Once we realize that we are lying to us and deceiving ourselves - we stop inventing stories or superiority and entitlement and exchange them for a fleeing of self worth and connection with life.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance#Meat-eating
Smart people can do more skillful self lying and have more to lose from being honest to themselves about lying to themselves? Good things in life are not about being smarts or hard work but about the ability to be honest with ourselves?
Is it time to reconsider the idea of ‘the banality of evil’?
https://theconversation.com/is-it-time-to-reconsider-the-idea-of-the-banality-of-evil-216737
Adolf Eichmann: "There can be no possible agreement with systems of thought of an international nature, because at bottom these are not true and not honest, but based on a monstrous lie, namely the lie of the equality of all ... beings."
In his mind, Adolf has been telling himself that he is better than all others all his life. He knows this is a lie or he himself would claim that the opposite claim "that life was equal", was a lie. Most of us are like Adolf. We think are better than minorities or livestock animals. Some people think that they are above the risks of BSL 3 viral pandemics.
When it comes to collapse, we discuss all sorts of things except food. We might be energy and transport blind. But we are utterly food senseless? Why? Deep down, 'food' is not real for us. If it were real, we might need to accept that 100% dependent on nature for it and that we are hence only a small part of a vast whole. This is not the leading role movie narrative that self licensing needs to exist and feed one. If we are the main character of our lives, we have a very limited and one dimensional experience of life? Lonely pressure to perform instead of communal pleasure to experience and be a part of it all?
I certainly do not. We are a part of nature. Connected to all life around us. Capitalism and religion have dehumanized us and smothered humans' threat assessment abilities and compassion.
I am honest with myself. I'm a realist and I have no choice.
Just wanted to also say I love your work, but our family has been through some tragedies and hardship lately, so please don't take it personally if I can't subscribe again, and it appears my 1 year ran out early via the changes from site to site, and that is completely okay. I got every penny's worth of that year's sub already. i hope you continue to get the support you deserve.
I feel this to my very core. Prior to covid I was aware of many government and institutional failings, but I was hopeful. I feel differently now. Of all I've lost, my trust in medical professionals, especially those leaders tasked with protecting children's health, has been the hardest to process. The (long) covid research is something most specialist medical professionals appear not to be reading: is disturbing to realize how unaware they are, and how little they wish to know. It's made me question if medical programs have somehow prioritized certain skills over empathy, intellectual curiosity, open-mindedness (& intellectual humility), and logic. Horrible.
This is a really important point thank you for writing about it. Unfortunately the term "moral injury" as it is commonly used refers to injury that one does to others, not that one experiences from others. This is an important difference. I have done all I can to keep people aware of the ongoing dangerous SARS-2 pandemic. I use a mask in public to protect myself, to protect others from my possible asymptomatic infection, and also to remind myself and others that this virus is not only still around, but setting records for infections (the recent wave in the US has had more infections at this time of year than any other year). I do not feel responsible for the minimization of this disease done by other people, the government, or corporate interests.
Maybe there's another term for the damage we experience for living in this kind of society, but I don't know it.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/moral-injury
The definitions I used refer to both things you've had to do and things you've had to witness, but I focused here on the things we've had to witness and extended the definition to things we've endured. You can take terms and shift the meanings. Academics do it all the time.
Fair enough. Just seems useful to note when extending, no? I do believe these times of extraordinary harms in warfare and in infectious disease warrant new nomenclature.
I thought I was pretty clear... And the term "moral injury" describes exactly how I feel. I don't want a different term. This is it.
In the English language from England injury is injury and moral is a not physical injury so moral injury is something you can suffer yourself
I never knew using the term “moral injury” had the potential to cause moral injury ;p But in all seriousness, thanks for yet another thought provoking article.
We look, we see, we understand. And it's so lonely.
The gaslighting is so deep that I feel like if I share this on social media (as I do so many of your essays), I'd need to apologize to the people who show every day how little they care about me, or each other.
This is why I believe in evil mind-controlling aliens, because believing that humans, especially the ones I know, are really this monstrous is beyond my capacity to cope with. Yes, I’m serious. Interestingly, this is something that is hinted at in various myths over time - but that is well beyond the scope of this comment.
It's humans who have been manipulated by the capitalist hell we're forced to live under. Stay grounded in reality.
Actually, 1) a strictly physicalist view of reality is a recent development in human history, which 2) is not supported by modern quantum physics research nor 3) most known human cultural beliefs and religious practices, ancient and modern. Also 4) Congress has passed legislation, and has been attempting to pass more legislation for the last few years regarding non-human intelligences (NHI) activities on Earth, 5) in no small part because NHI are a known threat to U.S. national security. A big part of why NHI present a threat is because 6) they do not seem to operate by the known laws of physics, and 7) according to extensive and reliable experiencer testimony, NHI can control human thoughts and actions with terrifying ease.
I am quite thoroughly grounded in reality. The capitalist hell we are all forced to live under does not exclude any of my points above. Clear thinking requires courage, rather than intelligence (Thomas Szasz) so I would suggest that you exercise the courage necessary to expand your understanding of reality.
🤡
Excellent article. Thank you.
I came across this today and, of course, thought of you and your work. I noticed missing things, too -- no mention of masks and making prevention as simple as cooking your meat well done.
https://abcnews.go.com/Health/us-72m-vaccine-manufacturers-advance-bird-flu-shot/story?id=114502971
I haven't trusted the government or media for decades now. I trust a few close like-minded friends, and that's about it.