Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Digital Canary 💪💪🇨🇦🇺🇦🗽's avatar

Thank you, Jessica.

It is truly the peak of narcissism for someone to ask a parent such a question, and at the same time the peak of attempted distraction from that very narcissism.

***

We too don’t judge those who choose, or who are constrained by circumstances outside their choices, to not have children.

But for ourselves:

We have kids (now young adults) because we believed — and still believe — that they might be able to carry forward a legacy of caring & compassion for others, and build a better future.

We have kids because we have hope for a world in which caring counts more than extractive success.

We have kids because we’re living in a fucking society, warts and all, and societies go extinct along with any good they might include if there are no children to carry them forward & to improve upon them.

We have kids because we’re evolved, sexually reproducing living beings; our genetic drives are impossible to avoid having found each other by chance, bonded through (complicated but still materially-based) love, and been unimpeded by obstacles (rational or otherwise; individual, societal or environmental) to those genes propagating themselves.

We have kids because we are human, and have had the exceptionally good fortune to be able to do so — and now that they are adults, we keep loving them and supporting their pro-social successes as they are fully engaged in making that better future come to pass.

And we are grateful for both of our kids, as none of that was or is guaranteed, while also being apprehensive and realistic about the challenges they will face in their lifetimes.

Expand full comment
Stan's avatar

A snarky comeback would be “why did your parents have kids?” A kinder way to respond would be, “the same reason your parents had you.”

Expand full comment
13 more comments...

No posts